I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
