It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
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Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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