i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
