ya dads aren't the best wingmen
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
