i just google imaged poop.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
