My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
