it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
