If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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