You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
