Your tits are I can't wait for
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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