Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
