i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
