I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
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Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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