I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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