i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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