Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
