Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
