Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I faked an abortion last night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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