We got so high we made milksteak
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
