If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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