You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
