I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
