like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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