So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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