are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
No subtext here. People are naked.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
