I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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