you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He? As in you personified your dick?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
