Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
