just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize