allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
