how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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