Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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