I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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