i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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