are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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