Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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