There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
