Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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