you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
