No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
