they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
