So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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