Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
