allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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