I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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