You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
