Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
