thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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