So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
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sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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