look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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