still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
