imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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