You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want to walk on stilts...naked
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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