I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
