people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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