I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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