I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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