that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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